Morningbull

CEO --Chief  Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate  Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A  random market movement causing an investor to mistake  himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6  to 18 month period when the kids  get no allowance,  the wife gets no jewelry, and the  husband gets no  sex.

VALUE INVESTING --  The art of buying low and selling  lower.

P/E RATIO -- The  percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market  keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my  broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR  -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST --  Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When  your ex-wife and her lawyer split  your assets equally  between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER  -- A guy whose phone has been   disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION  -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The  movement your money makes as it  disappears down the  toilet.

YAHOO -- What you  yell after selling it to some poor  sucker for $240 per  share.

WINDOWS -- What you  jump out of when you're the sucker  who bought Yahoo @  $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL  INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now  locked up in a  nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An  archaic word no longer in use.